I sat there laughing to myself after watching a silly Christmas show you all know the one it was about a boy who wanted a BB gun for Christmas. I laugh out loud when he got his tongue stuck to the pole. "Only you would think that was funny." I heard a voice behind me looking back I saw Gary standing in the door way with a cup of coffee in his hand.
"We need to go shopping. Gary told me as he sat his cup down.
"Ok let this finish first ok" I asked looking back to the TV.
"No, finish when we get back." he said as he paused the DVD. "Get your coat.” I gave a low growl as I got up Gary gave me a smile. He always makes me get ready to go first cause he says I am like a small child when it comes to getting ready to go I take forever. It was not awful cold outside but the air still froze your breath when it came out. We made one small stop before we headed out, we stopped at the storage unit to get our shopping cart. Just outside the carport was a pole, I could see the frost on it that got my mind to think.
"Dillon, NO!" I heard as I licked my lips and stuck out my tongue. Just before I was able to actually place my tongue to the pole, I felt a hand hit, grab a fist-full of jacket and pull me back all in one swift movement. Then a face appeared before mine.
"What were you thinking?"
Before I could answer, I was spun around and pushed away from the pole and toward the street.
"We'll discuss this after we return home," Gary told me. "Cart!" Gary snapped.
I grabbed the cart as I walked by it. Man, how I hate this thing, but I guess it better then carrying fifty plastic bags of groceries.
Gary always walked a little faster than me, so as he passed me I just keep my eyes on his tight-fitting jeans and smiled to myself as we walked to the bus stop.
This was my first year being in a city that has snow during the winter. I lived in a small town in California that only received snow about once every ten years. I was use to the cold but nothing like this. I mean, where I lived it usually warmed up during the day. Here I have to sleep in socks just to stay warm.
Gary and I meet after I got involved in accident. I rolled a 24-foot Budget truck over onto its side in the snow. I was not going that fast but some how I lost traction and rolled. Gary was the E.M.T. that kicked out the windshield to help me out since my leg was hurt and I was unable to climb out the driver's side door. Thank God for seat belts.
"Are you coming?" Gary asked, bringing me out of my thoughts.
I looked up to see the bus waiting for me to get my head out of my ass and onto the bus.
"Sorry," I mumbled to the bus driver as I showed her my bus pass. She just smiled at me.
"That's alright, Dillon. We all get a little spacey now and then," she said as she punched a button. The meter buzzed and then the door closed behind me. Gary was already seated. He smiled at me and patted the set beside him. I sat and made sure the cart was not in any one's way.
The bus jerked forward as we headed to our destination. My eyes went to the kid in front of us. He just sat there staring at me. I gave him a smile and he returned my smile with a toothless one that made me smile even bigger.
I really hated the bus. This time there was a woman seating beside us talking to a box of food. I guess the box talked back because she told it to 'shut up the fuck, bitch'. At the next stop, the toothless kid got off and some guy got on that smelled badly. The driver got up and opens the little trap door on the roof of the bus. She gave me a smile and went back to her seat. When the guy winked at me and blew me a kiss, I just slid closer to Gary and slipped my arm into his to pull him closer to me. I was almost setting on Gary's lap by the time we finally got to the Food Co and it only took a half hour.
"You know it's a ten minute drive by car," I said.
"Yes, but it is safer this way, so hush."
I didn't say any more. I just thought it safer for now as we walked across the parking lot while almost being hit twice by drivers not checking before they backed up.
Once in the store, Gary took the list out of his pocket. He sighed and scratched off something as he gave me a look.
"What?" I asked, innocently.
It only took a half hour to do our weekly shopping. After we paid for it, we headed back out to the bus stop and waited about fifteen minutes for the bus to finally come.
All the buses have a electric ramp; what we call a lift for handicap people. Most drivers will engage the lift so that the elderly people who use the little carts to go shopping, can get on the bus faster.
When the bus door opened, I saw the driver I really disliked. This one was a snotty bastard, but Gary always insisted I be polite. I knew this driver hated using the left, but nevertheless, he sighed and engaged the lift. I let Gary ride it up and I waited for the bus driver to pull the lift back in and I walked up the steps. I showed him my pass and as I started to walk away I heard. "Lazy asses could have lifted it on."
I leaned over so only he could hear me "Lazy Fat Bastard," I whispered to him and went to find my seat. When we got home the driver had no problem lowering the lift for us.
Gary pushed the cart toward the apartment and I followed him, once again watching his ass swish back and forth like a hula-dancer in a grass skirt in his tight fitting jeans.
Once in the apartment, Gary headed for the kitchen. "That one, ten minutes!" he ordered, pointing to a corner in the kitchen.
"Why, for putting Pop Tarts on the list?" I asked as I faced the corner.
"We'll talk about that later. But no, I want you to think of what you did today," Gary said from behind me.
Why did he think I did my best thinking standing in a corner some where in the apartment? Like a child, I stood tall, hands behind me so I would not pick at the paint, feet together, thinking. `What did I do today? Let's see; I woke up, climbed out of bed, went pee, washed my hands, climbed back into bed, had sex with Gary. 'My mind stop on Gary, my Gary. I let out a sigh. Not a stressed out sigh but one that was more or less like a sigh when you are thinking of a good thing.
"You're not thinking," I heard a voice down the hall.
"Yes I am," I told the voice. Well, actually I told it to the wall but the voice heard me.
The kitchen phone beep and I knew he'd picked up the phone in the bedroom. I turn my head a little so I could try to hear who he was calling.
After a few minutes, I heard him talking to someone. "Yes. I would like to complain about a driver. Bus number is ??" He gave the three digit code that all buses have. "Well he had black hair with grey at the side; he was on the heavy side, probably between 35 or 40. No, I not sure of his nationality but he was not white nor was he colored. Well he made a rude comment to my partner and me because he had to use the lift so we could get on the bus with our groceries, Well I don't like using that type of language but he called us lazy asses," Gary was silent for a minute. "Yes, thank you. I hope you do take care of it. We have had problems before with this driver," Gary said. I heard a sigh and the phone beep again so I quickly turned back to the corner.
"Dill, come and set with me," Gary told me as he grabbed my arm and pulled me with him. He sat with an 'humph' in our favorite chair, pulling me down as he sat.
"What were you thinking about?" he asked.
I wiggled around so I was more or less straddling him. He lowered his hand and pulled up the leaver to bring up the foot rest on the Lazyboy. My legs went out straight as I leaned my head on his chest. "You," I told him.
Gary sigh and his hand connected with my butt. The smack stung but did not hurt. "I wanted you to think of what you where going to do before we left for the store," Gary said.
I snuggled closer to him. "You really think I was going to put my tongue on that pole?" I asked.
"Yes, and do you know how many germs are on that pole?" Gary asked as he scolded. "I mean come on; you are a grown man, well almost grown." I looked up at him; to me twenty-two is grown. I started to get up off his lap but he held me tight.
"I've been called out to plenty of homes, parks, and schools where children and teens, boy and girls have stuck their tongues to a frozen pole. Most of them panic and start to pull back but since a tongue is a muscle it just pulls back and bleeds which causes them to panic more." Gary stops and looked at me just as I rolled my eyes. "Am I boring you?" he asked.
"Yes, actually you are," I thought but to my surprise, I said it out loud. The next thing I knew I was on the floor, Gary had pushed the leg rest back in and I just simply slid off his lap and onto the floor.
Gary slide forward a little. "Well, since I am boring you," Gary said as he helped me off the floor and over his lap, "maybe this will not be so boring." With that said, the first swat and hit hard.
"Owww," I yipped.
"Why are you being spank?" Gary asked from above.
That made me think. "For being a smart mouth," I told him.
His hand went into my waistband and pulled my sweats a little tighter his elbow was just behind my head his arm laid strong on my back to hold me down. The swatting started again.
After about ten swats "And?" Gary asked.
"Trying to repeat what I saw on TV," I manage to get out between
After what seemed a decade, the swats stopped. I could feel Gary's hand gently rubbing my back while I did my best to quit crying.
"Are you going to do it again?" He asked as his fingers gently scratched at my tattoo above my waist band.
"No," I manage to shake my head in the negative.
"Good," he said as he helped me to sit on his lap being careful that my sore ass didn't come into contact with anything.
I felt him relax back; bring his feet up and pull me close to him. He shifted a little so he could remove the blanket that lies on the back of the chair. I heard it flap in the room as he flip it to unfold it then he placed it around me. I just sat there biting on my thumb with my face buried into his neck.
I am not sure how long we sat there, but I was about half a sleep when
Gary patted my hip.
"Up, love," he told me as he pushed the foot rest in.
I stood while Gary grabbed the blanket and tossed it back over the chair after he refolded it. He then walked into the kitchen and I made my way to the bathroom.
"Dillon, come here please."
I made my way around the corner to see him standing with a little brown bottle and a spoon.
"Oh, come on," I told him.
Gary raised his eyebrows as he poured the reddish oil into the spoon. "And what did you call the bus driver?"
I just snarled at him and open my mouth letting him pour that nasty stuff into it. The stuff was just plain nasty. I have no ideal what it was but according to Gary it the same stuff his mom used on him and his siblings to get them to stop cursing. I guess it worked because I've never really heard him swear but then again we have not been together that long.
"Don't swallow yet," he ordered. This time it was my eye brow that raised at him. He just laugh and put the stuff where it belong.
After a minute he let me swallow the liquid. "I'll never get use to that stuff," I told him as I tried to scrap it of my tongue with my teeth,
"Good, because if you did we would have to make it stronger," Gary told me as he gave me a glass of water.
"What I want to know is how you heard. I did not say it that loud," I asked.
"I didn't," Gary said. "I just know my boy."
The next morning Gary headed for work and I stayed home like always. Don't get me wrong, I do work it is just that I do it at home. I've got a little business. I do medical transcribing/ billing from home. I pick up the information from the doctors' offices, type the medical reports and then take the paperwork back and pick up new.
I work when Gary works so we are off together. Once in a while I get a call that they need a report ASAP and I have to go get it, type it out and take it to them. Fortunately, this does not happen often.
Anyway, I was sitting at my desk typing away when I thought I heard a knock on the door. I stopped and listened nothing; so I turn on the recorder again and started typing. This time I heard a banging on the door. Getting up, I opened the door to find one of the neighbor ladies standing with her hands on her belly and jabbering at me like a maniac.
At first, I thought she gone into labor but she pointed to the car port and made the motion for me to follow her. I did and to my surprise, I saw her son of about ten or twelve with his tongue stuck to the pole. He was crying and the other boys around him were laughing at him. I just shook my head. I told his mom to bring me a glass of hot water. She smilingly nodded and waddled off into her apartment. She brought me back a glass of water and I smiled a thank you and poured it over the boy's tongue.
I heard sirens. "Oh, God, don't let it be him," I thought.
Sure enough, Gary came running around the corner, quickly followed by his partner, Troy. Gary came to a stop just as the boy's tongue came free and he gave me a look of relief. He was breathing hard almost like a pant. Troy took the boy to one side
"What, you thought it was me?" I smiled at him “What were YOU thinking?” I told him with a laugh as I headed back into the apartment leaving him and Troy to deal with the boy.